Poverty.

In 2009, The Department for Health & Human Services reported the poverty level in Hawaii to be at $21,060 a year. At the minimum wage rate of $7.25 an hour, one would earn $15,080 if he or she worked 40 hours a week, 52 weeks a year.

In just a matter of months, my life has changed drastically. I went from living a life where I could give my children whatever they wanted whenever they wanted, to living, in Poverty. Now, if you're like me, you might see poverty as being homeless, as being dirty, as being lazy. If you're reading this then you know me and you know I'm none of those things. You know I work hard at my job(s) and you know I don't make minimum wage either but looking at my financials for 2010, I am living just a hair above the reported poverty level because my full time job is seasonal. In fact, the poverty level goes up every year. For 2009, I'm borderline, for 2010, I'm probably right there in the mix.

The financial hardships I have I fully own acceptance of. I always say I chose this path, so I'm trying to make it on my own. I was finally fully laid off from my full time job at the beginning of November. Unemployment benefits is no easy path. It's a lot of waiting, a lot of patience, a lot of hoops to jump through. Because my hours kept dwindling d-o-w-n, it was a long and drawn out process over two months. Unemployment wouldn't process my claim until I was fully separated from the job. By then, I was working only 8 hours a WEEK. And after I was fully separated, they told me it would take three weeks to receive any benefit. AND! Because I still have my part time job, the benefit is a fraction. Still, I thought, some benefit is better than none. However, now a month later, I find out that I will be receiving Nothing. My unemployment claim is being denied because of my part time job, so I've decided to withdraw the claim. The state has implemented a program called REA = Reemployment Eligibility Assessment. It's a class, basically, to teach you how to re-work your resume and how to interview in order to be reintroduced to the workplace. I spent nearly 3 hours there last Wednesday wasting time, rescheduled from my shift at Banana because it was mandatory. I found out the class is 8 weeks long, and they are required to report your attendance to the Unemployment Office. No compliance = No check. Except, I've received nothing in a month. So I called, and waited ONE HOUR on hold just to get through, and said that I didn't think I should be made to attend this class seeing as I receive no benefit at all. The gentleman on the phone said I shouldn't do that, that I should keep claiming even though I exceed the allowance, because after the holidays I'll probably get cut back down. Way to go state worker! Encourage people to juice the system. I stood my ground and am mailing out the papers to cancel the claim completely tomorrow morning.

SNAP (Supplemental Nutritional Assistance Program) aka, EBT and formerly known as Food Stamps, is an even rougher path. There are two types of benefit you can apply for through SNAP: a food benefit now on plastic and used Just like a debit card, and/or cash withdrawable for use as you wish. I never thought I'd see the day I'd have to ask for this kind of help. With the way these systems have been abused, it's no wonder it's nearly impossible for anyone who really needs it to get it in their time of need. It will be seven weeks from the time I applied to the time I get an interview to see if I can even Qualify at all. If I had no part time job and no savings, what would I do? How would I feed my children? Harsh realities.

Late this past summer I had the daunting choice of putting gas in my car or buying food. That, was about as low as I thought it could get. Truth is folks, no matter how bad you think it is, or how close to rock bottom you think you are, it can and does get worse.

So. What's a 32 year old single mother, with a BA degree, do when she's been laid off and can't get any financial aid or find stable full time work before her savings is completely emptied out?

* Marvel at the way the world and all it's injustices works.
* Find ways to keep her happy, healthy keiki happy and healthy at little to no cost.
* Smile that she's still alive :)
* Look forward to a time when she can say she made it through the darkest time of her life.

My ma never said to me that I could do or be anything I wanted. My pops never said nothing was out of my reach as long as I never gave up. My parents didn't teach me that I'd find the ability within myself to make it through any hardship thrust into my path (or chosen). But somehow, this belief has always been with me, oftentimes in the forefront of my mind, but sometimes shoved so far back I'd forgotten it was there. And now, I believe it More Than Ever.