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Sunday, November 8, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
10
The butt end of two of my vehicles now sport the number 10, for October, and what an adventure that's been! The mustang has sat for months not running. I took it upon myself to get it there, and after breaking it, I'm still rather proud of myself :) I charged the battery, got it to Flagship to get the oil changed, and attempted to get a safety check. Now, if you've got Geico like I do, then maybe you know that if you should lose your actual insurance cards, they'll email you copies for your convenience which you can print up. These cards, while claimed to be completely legitimate from Geico themselves, are not acceptable in the real world, for things like getting a safety check, or say, getting on base, because they are printed on plain paper and could possibly be fabricated. However, in this fabulous fast forwarded month of October, I've been able to use the cards I have to do All these things!
October 14th, the fiasco with the mustang's safety check began with them not even doing the safety check even though I asked them to fail it so I could take the blue slip which gives me 30 days to do whatever needs to be done to correct the fail and not be cited for it. So, in an effort to give me quality customer service for not doing a service I requested, they decide to pass it, but give me stickers that belong to someone else. They call and say I need to bring the car back so I did and they take the tags back, for the White Ford Explorer, it belonged to. And because I was honest, the inspector passed me, no problem.
October 17th, I photograph a wedding on Pearl Harbor and I get in with this seemingly fabricated insurance card without so much as a flinch from the guard. Hickam, for the reception, is a different story. This guy is cocky to no end, and repeats everything I say back to me as though it's a question. I tell him that Geico allows this card to be used as a replacement. He says he'll check with his supervisor and walks out. I wait. He comes back and proceeds to write me a pass. Hello? You was wrong ah? Thanks!
Today, October 31st. We head out to town on this first Saturday in forever that I'm not working, and I realize, the red 10 on the back of the Yukon is smiling at me! Oh jeez. It's been telling me for days that it needs an oil change anyway, so after dropping off the family at home, I take it. I realize when I ask for the oil change and safety check, that I've still not gotten the original insurance cards and this guy is gonna tell me the same schpeil. And before he can even shake his head, I say, "I know you won't take this so can you fail me and give me the blue slip? I have to come back either way." He looks at me, blinks, and nods. Uhh, ok? I walk over to Longs, and come back at the time I'm promised my truck, and lo and behold, it's not even in the bay yet. I take a seat with my Monster and wait. Alex, his name embroidered on name tag says, comes in and says, "Clarissa?" I look up and say "Yes?" He says he can't pass it with this insurance card but will give me the blue slip. I say ok with a smile, and return to texting. Minutes later, the Yukon rolls out of the bay, and up to the front, so I walk out, toss my package through the front window onto the seat and walk back in to pay.
The girl behind the counter, with black tipped acrylic nails adorned with red spiders and white webs festively for Halloween, slaps down my papers and says, "The inspector is being nice today and he's gonna pass your truck, even though this isn't an acceptable insurance card. I don't know why." To this, I express my gratitude and smile at her too, she's not amused. Ahahah!
October 14th, the fiasco with the mustang's safety check began with them not even doing the safety check even though I asked them to fail it so I could take the blue slip which gives me 30 days to do whatever needs to be done to correct the fail and not be cited for it. So, in an effort to give me quality customer service for not doing a service I requested, they decide to pass it, but give me stickers that belong to someone else. They call and say I need to bring the car back so I did and they take the tags back, for the White Ford Explorer, it belonged to. And because I was honest, the inspector passed me, no problem.
October 17th, I photograph a wedding on Pearl Harbor and I get in with this seemingly fabricated insurance card without so much as a flinch from the guard. Hickam, for the reception, is a different story. This guy is cocky to no end, and repeats everything I say back to me as though it's a question. I tell him that Geico allows this card to be used as a replacement. He says he'll check with his supervisor and walks out. I wait. He comes back and proceeds to write me a pass. Hello? You was wrong ah? Thanks!
Today, October 31st. We head out to town on this first Saturday in forever that I'm not working, and I realize, the red 10 on the back of the Yukon is smiling at me! Oh jeez. It's been telling me for days that it needs an oil change anyway, so after dropping off the family at home, I take it. I realize when I ask for the oil change and safety check, that I've still not gotten the original insurance cards and this guy is gonna tell me the same schpeil. And before he can even shake his head, I say, "I know you won't take this so can you fail me and give me the blue slip? I have to come back either way." He looks at me, blinks, and nods. Uhh, ok? I walk over to Longs, and come back at the time I'm promised my truck, and lo and behold, it's not even in the bay yet. I take a seat with my Monster and wait. Alex, his name embroidered on name tag says, comes in and says, "Clarissa?" I look up and say "Yes?" He says he can't pass it with this insurance card but will give me the blue slip. I say ok with a smile, and return to texting. Minutes later, the Yukon rolls out of the bay, and up to the front, so I walk out, toss my package through the front window onto the seat and walk back in to pay.
The girl behind the counter, with black tipped acrylic nails adorned with red spiders and white webs festively for Halloween, slaps down my papers and says, "The inspector is being nice today and he's gonna pass your truck, even though this isn't an acceptable insurance card. I don't know why." To this, I express my gratitude and smile at her too, she's not amused. Ahahah!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Sweet September
Wow, looking at my last post, I'm kinda saddened I didn't update with how great September was for me! September is full of birthdays - ever noticed that? Because it's 9 months following December, cold time. Haha! So, Happy Belateds to my September babies!
September 2 - Misty
September 9 - Tiffany
September 10 - Fernando
September 15 - Janice
September 15 - Torres
September 16 - Rovyn
September 20 - Priscilla & Victoria
September 20 - Rocky
September 20 - Anabellyn
September 25 - Shiela Lyn
September 25 - Brandon
September 26 - MelJoy
September 27 - Chris
Sweetsigh for September, a Very good month. A wonderful time following the sad struggle that was August, that come to think of it, August always is for me. So many blessings this number 9 seemed to bring. Maybe 9 is my new favorite number? Because of the 9th month of 2009. We'll just have to see about that :)
Have you heard 10thAveN? For your listening pleasure and mine <3
September 2 - Misty
September 9 - Tiffany
September 10 - Fernando
September 15 - Janice
September 15 - Torres
September 16 - Rovyn
September 20 - Priscilla & Victoria
September 20 - Rocky
September 20 - Anabellyn
September 25 - Shiela Lyn
September 25 - Brandon
September 26 - MelJoy
September 27 - Chris
Sweetsigh for September, a Very good month. A wonderful time following the sad struggle that was August, that come to think of it, August always is for me. So many blessings this number 9 seemed to bring. Maybe 9 is my new favorite number? Because of the 9th month of 2009. We'll just have to see about that :)
Friday, August 21, 2009
Broken
The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain, there is healing
In your name, I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you
The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain (in the pain), is there healing
In your name (in your name), I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin') I'm barely holdin' on to you
I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be OK
The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain (in the pain), there is healing
In your name, I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm barely holdin' on to you
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm barely holdin' on to you
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Oriah Mountain Dreamer
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
--Oriah
*************
I'm a fan :)
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
--Oriah
*************
I'm a fan :)
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Go Swine Flu!
So we're batting 2 for 2! Go Swine Flu! It's easier to say that I have it and just let people freak out about the name than to keep explaining there's a difference. Here's the thing people: treatment for the swine flu and the regular flu is no different. So, having the name tagged to me doesn't make me feel bad. And, more people die from the regular flu every year than from the swine flu in all it's existence. So get the EFF over it.
I took my son to the ER last night around 11pm with a 103.2 fever. Thanks folks for your prayers. It did seem to come down considerably by the time we had come home (101.7) without the assistance of medication, but spiked within the hour up to 104.8.
Like his mama, he doesn't ever complain. And this is scary with such a high fever. I didn't have a high fever that I knew of so automatically, I felt something was different. Off we went. Once inside, he was bright and fairly vibrant contrasting his bump on a log demeanor at home, and fully aware of other patients. I knew his ears would be plugged when the ER doctor checked, and told him so. He was surprised that he wasn't bothered by it. They did a different nose swab thing for him. The RN, Tyler, asked him not to move while this was happening, and he was a statue while counting slowly to 10 through tear rimmed eyes. Suck up and deliver, kinda like someone else yah? We should hear his results this evening but like previously stated, treatment is no different for whatever kind of flu it is. And since I've already tested positive for Influenza A, they prescribed Tamiflu, the same as me assuming it's the same flu.
So what's a visit to the ER without people watching?! Wheeled in by EMTs a few minutes after us, was a teenage boy strapped tightly to the gurney. The chubbier, older EMT tells the ER nurse they need to get security before they unstrap him. Mom is following behind, stressed out and shamed. I prayed quickly for that mom, without even knowing her turmoil. Apparently, her son is diagnosed bipolar, and had tried to run from the EMTs although it wasn't clear exactly why he needed to be there. He didn't seem to be hurt in any way. While waiting, Jordan - that's his name - kept getting up and trying to leave. And mom and securitas man kept trying to get him back on the gurney. Obviously this kid is crying out for attention and medication to dull whatever hell he thinks he's in. He began swearing and demanding pills. They had given him something upon arrival and he kept yelling that it wasn't working. Wow. Maybe mom is the one who really needs to be medicated? Pray for them.
In the curtain next to us, was a baby about a year old with hives her mama couldn't find the source of. We over hear the doctor say he'll give her some Benadryl, and a shot of steroid. My boy looks at me and says "It's about to get loud in here." Cracking jokes even! Sure enough, the baby starts to cry even before the shot, and the volume increases 5 fold. And in less than a minute, her mama is holding her over the sink whilst she spews whatever is possibly giving her hives. Yuuuck.
There were 2 other families with babies there, but we couldn't hear what was going on with them. As we waited for his prescription in the waiting room, another patient was wheeled in by a different pair of EMTs. A very "well endowed" young woman, unusually endowed. Through text, Daddy asked what was wrong with her and I said there was nothing obvious. To this he replied, "she probably has back problems." My son surely gets his humor from that side of his gene pool.
Anyway, we were home in just over an hour which is a record if you've ever been in the ER. Again I thank you for your prayers and also in advance for any more you'd like to send our way. My illness is managed enough that I can take care of my trooper. If Daddy gets it, he's on his own. And little sister, I think she'll be fine. She had a fever a week and a half ago and yakked all over the bathroom floor and was a champ soon after! Mom is also feeling fine so she's likely not exposed, and for as much time as I spend with Thmartath - she has her own set of Forced Vacation Days reasons, not flu related.
Take care of yourselves folks. This flu is fierce.
I took my son to the ER last night around 11pm with a 103.2 fever. Thanks folks for your prayers. It did seem to come down considerably by the time we had come home (101.7) without the assistance of medication, but spiked within the hour up to 104.8.
Like his mama, he doesn't ever complain. And this is scary with such a high fever. I didn't have a high fever that I knew of so automatically, I felt something was different. Off we went. Once inside, he was bright and fairly vibrant contrasting his bump on a log demeanor at home, and fully aware of other patients. I knew his ears would be plugged when the ER doctor checked, and told him so. He was surprised that he wasn't bothered by it. They did a different nose swab thing for him. The RN, Tyler, asked him not to move while this was happening, and he was a statue while counting slowly to 10 through tear rimmed eyes. Suck up and deliver, kinda like someone else yah? We should hear his results this evening but like previously stated, treatment is no different for whatever kind of flu it is. And since I've already tested positive for Influenza A, they prescribed Tamiflu, the same as me assuming it's the same flu.
So what's a visit to the ER without people watching?! Wheeled in by EMTs a few minutes after us, was a teenage boy strapped tightly to the gurney. The chubbier, older EMT tells the ER nurse they need to get security before they unstrap him. Mom is following behind, stressed out and shamed. I prayed quickly for that mom, without even knowing her turmoil. Apparently, her son is diagnosed bipolar, and had tried to run from the EMTs although it wasn't clear exactly why he needed to be there. He didn't seem to be hurt in any way. While waiting, Jordan - that's his name - kept getting up and trying to leave. And mom and securitas man kept trying to get him back on the gurney. Obviously this kid is crying out for attention and medication to dull whatever hell he thinks he's in. He began swearing and demanding pills. They had given him something upon arrival and he kept yelling that it wasn't working. Wow. Maybe mom is the one who really needs to be medicated? Pray for them.
In the curtain next to us, was a baby about a year old with hives her mama couldn't find the source of. We over hear the doctor say he'll give her some Benadryl, and a shot of steroid. My boy looks at me and says "It's about to get loud in here." Cracking jokes even! Sure enough, the baby starts to cry even before the shot, and the volume increases 5 fold. And in less than a minute, her mama is holding her over the sink whilst she spews whatever is possibly giving her hives. Yuuuck.
There were 2 other families with babies there, but we couldn't hear what was going on with them. As we waited for his prescription in the waiting room, another patient was wheeled in by a different pair of EMTs. A very "well endowed" young woman, unusually endowed. Through text, Daddy asked what was wrong with her and I said there was nothing obvious. To this he replied, "she probably has back problems." My son surely gets his humor from that side of his gene pool.
Anyway, we were home in just over an hour which is a record if you've ever been in the ER. Again I thank you for your prayers and also in advance for any more you'd like to send our way. My illness is managed enough that I can take care of my trooper. If Daddy gets it, he's on his own. And little sister, I think she'll be fine. She had a fever a week and a half ago and yakked all over the bathroom floor and was a champ soon after! Mom is also feeling fine so she's likely not exposed, and for as much time as I spend with Thmartath - she has her own set of Forced Vacation Days reasons, not flu related.
Take care of yourselves folks. This flu is fierce.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Swine Floozy
Fun tidbits about the swine flu!
I was tested this morning, with a swab at the back of my throat, and the same swab then swept up in my nose as far as it could reach. *gags in all ways possible* Ten minutes later, the little paper thing says I'm positive for Influenza A. What's the difference you ask, between A, B, & Swine? Not much. They're just the mutations of the virus.
Swine flu is a strain of Influenza A. Does that mean I have it? Possibly, but not likely. This translates to = I can't go back to work until the 25th. And can I know if I do have it? Sure, if I'd like to be swabbed again to send a different sample to the Hawaii State Department of Health. Nah, I'll pass. Results for that take 3-5 days anyway, and by then I'll probably be better.
Treatments? Not different from any other flu. Stay home to not spread it, cover your mouth, wash your hands frequently and follow with an alcohol based hand sanitizer, get lots of fluids, and lots of rest = mhmm, like that's possible. I slept horribly last night. I wished for dreamless, satisfying sleep. I got quite the opposite waking every 1/2 hour.
Tamiflu - the prescription for suppressing the mutation of the virus should be commenced within 48 hours of the onset of symtoms and could possibly help me feel better a whole day sooner than without. I hate medicine. But hey, I'll give it a shot. A $20 co-pay better have me feeling better by the time these meds are gone.
So yeah, don't call me a swine floozy. Hahaha, that's kinda funny.
It's the name that's got people all nuts, [swine flu]. Cuz no one really over reacts when you say you've got the flu. But man, I'm suffering. This is THE WORST I've felt in years.
I wish I could find the pink mask with the pig snout on it :)
I was tested this morning, with a swab at the back of my throat, and the same swab then swept up in my nose as far as it could reach. *gags in all ways possible* Ten minutes later, the little paper thing says I'm positive for Influenza A. What's the difference you ask, between A, B, & Swine? Not much. They're just the mutations of the virus.
Swine flu is a strain of Influenza A. Does that mean I have it? Possibly, but not likely. This translates to = I can't go back to work until the 25th. And can I know if I do have it? Sure, if I'd like to be swabbed again to send a different sample to the Hawaii State Department of Health. Nah, I'll pass. Results for that take 3-5 days anyway, and by then I'll probably be better.
Treatments? Not different from any other flu. Stay home to not spread it, cover your mouth, wash your hands frequently and follow with an alcohol based hand sanitizer, get lots of fluids, and lots of rest = mhmm, like that's possible. I slept horribly last night. I wished for dreamless, satisfying sleep. I got quite the opposite waking every 1/2 hour.
Tamiflu - the prescription for suppressing the mutation of the virus should be commenced within 48 hours of the onset of symtoms and could possibly help me feel better a whole day sooner than without. I hate medicine. But hey, I'll give it a shot. A $20 co-pay better have me feeling better by the time these meds are gone.
So yeah, don't call me a swine floozy. Hahaha, that's kinda funny.
It's the name that's got people all nuts, [swine flu]. Cuz no one really over reacts when you say you've got the flu. But man, I'm suffering. This is THE WORST I've felt in years.
I wish I could find the pink mask with the pig snout on it :)
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
One time
I was driving to my parents' house and happened to notice the sign out front of the First Baptist Church on the corner of California Avenue and Rose Street. It said:
"When in deep water, trust the one who walked on it."
Until yesterday, I never thought that I had trust issues. Not in relationships or with friends, but in trusting that God would never bring me to something He'd never bring me through. I am in constant need of being in control, not necessarily of people or situations, but of being in control of myself. I remember writing a paper in Expos in high school where I compared myself to a bottle of soda. Agitate it and it explodes upon opening. Don't shake it at all, or stop shaking it and wait, and it will be fine.
I usually think that I have a good handle on the things in my life, and generally believe that they always turn out the best way they possibly can even if it's not what I want in the moment. It's been a struggle but now, I am truly learning the hard way that things turn out on God's time, and not mine.
Never have I had to choose one necessity over another. THAT is a hard place to be in. I do not wish that on anyone, not even people I don't care for. It really is when you have no choice but to be strong that you find out how strong you really are.
I almost always hold personal things in, which is kind of hypocritical in a way I guess, because people find it easy to vent to me when they have problems. I've heard I give pretty good advice. Now if I only I could give myself some that would be practical and optimistic and RIGHT?
I began writing this blog last night through tear rimmed eyes because writing helps me see things from a different perspective. And perhaps yesterday's events, and the day's before too, should have been a clue that a blog was ensuing. I ended up saving the draft and going to take a shower, where for the first time in a long time, I saw that I needed to be broken. My prideful need to be in control of myself was what was keeping me from seeing what needed to be seen. So there, in the shower, the only place I can find a very brief moment alone in this house, I asked God to break me. And He did.
He showed me that I am not in control, that I don't NEED to always be in control. And that I hold on so tightly to the things I think I can control even though those are the very things I should lay at His feet. So while it's still not in my personality to just let go and fall and trust that I will be caught, I'm humbled ever so slightly, but just enough. And I am thankful ... to be sitting here outside in the morning sun trusting and thanking God for His continued blessings on me, who doesn't deserve them.
The best thing about Underclass and going to work at 5am is the drive to the job where the sun greets me. It's then, in the simplicity of the trusted fact that the sun will rise everyday, that I'm reminded to pray and give thanks for how wonderfully awesome this life I've been given is.
"When in deep water, trust the one who walked on it."
Until yesterday, I never thought that I had trust issues. Not in relationships or with friends, but in trusting that God would never bring me to something He'd never bring me through. I am in constant need of being in control, not necessarily of people or situations, but of being in control of myself. I remember writing a paper in Expos in high school where I compared myself to a bottle of soda. Agitate it and it explodes upon opening. Don't shake it at all, or stop shaking it and wait, and it will be fine.
I usually think that I have a good handle on the things in my life, and generally believe that they always turn out the best way they possibly can even if it's not what I want in the moment. It's been a struggle but now, I am truly learning the hard way that things turn out on God's time, and not mine.
Never have I had to choose one necessity over another. THAT is a hard place to be in. I do not wish that on anyone, not even people I don't care for. It really is when you have no choice but to be strong that you find out how strong you really are.
I almost always hold personal things in, which is kind of hypocritical in a way I guess, because people find it easy to vent to me when they have problems. I've heard I give pretty good advice. Now if I only I could give myself some that would be practical and optimistic and RIGHT?
I began writing this blog last night through tear rimmed eyes because writing helps me see things from a different perspective. And perhaps yesterday's events, and the day's before too, should have been a clue that a blog was ensuing. I ended up saving the draft and going to take a shower, where for the first time in a long time, I saw that I needed to be broken. My prideful need to be in control of myself was what was keeping me from seeing what needed to be seen. So there, in the shower, the only place I can find a very brief moment alone in this house, I asked God to break me. And He did.
He showed me that I am not in control, that I don't NEED to always be in control. And that I hold on so tightly to the things I think I can control even though those are the very things I should lay at His feet. So while it's still not in my personality to just let go and fall and trust that I will be caught, I'm humbled ever so slightly, but just enough. And I am thankful ... to be sitting here outside in the morning sun trusting and thanking God for His continued blessings on me, who doesn't deserve them.
The best thing about Underclass and going to work at 5am is the drive to the job where the sun greets me. It's then, in the simplicity of the trusted fact that the sun will rise everyday, that I'm reminded to pray and give thanks for how wonderfully awesome this life I've been given is.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Bass Ackward
I've been feeling pretty frustrated with my piano progress lately. I know I'm having difficulty with coordination and playing both hands at the same time. It occurred to me that everything I've learned to play so far, while it IS with both hands, one hand pauses at least briefly while the other plays. I haven't tackled anything super fancy yet that would warrant both hands playing at exactly the same time.
Stuck in a rut, I went for my weekly lesson today (which was half an hour longer than usual since she was sick last week) and she started me playing some new things. Sharps and Flats ... Key of G ... stuff I haven't seen before. I admit, I kind of cheat most of the time and play ahead in the book on Tuesday nights to get a feel of whatever is next on the syllabus.
Anyway, she full-on busted out laughing at me today! And I'm like, WTH? When she laughs, she tries to talk and then it's even funnier because her Filipino accent is so thick! She finally gets a grip and is able to explain to me what she finds so hilariously funny: evidently I had played the opposite. Meaning, I was playing the notes meant for the treble clef with my LEFT hand, and vice versa. She said it was interesting to her that my brain worked that way. I've always felt I should have been left handed.
*bing* LIGHT BULB MOMENT.
In all my 7 years at Champs, I dealt with what I then called "Numeric Dyslexia." I didn't even know if that was a real thing because it was never a problem when I was in school, but I had ... something. I taught myself 10-Key and while I was punching numbers all day long, I saw them jumbled up in my head - I even thought them out of order, but somehow I would enter them correctly into the register according to what I was seeing. Imagine all the trouble I would have caused if I was putting them in wrong?! So long, Head Cashier. The only time I really noticed it since I left Champs was with phone numbers. If you were to give me your number, I'd probably say it back to you wrong, but I'd write it down or put it in my phone correctly. Apparently, this "dyslexia" if you will, is still with me and it's applicable to numbers, as well as reading music ... but not in anything else.
Weird right? So maybe that's why I'm having such a hard time now?
Cubstar, Clarissa with 2 less letters :), who's been playing piano about half her lifetime, suggested that I try playing a piece very slowly not worrying about the tempo until I get used to it. She said it would be years before my eyes, hands, and mind work together to put a piece together easily. Years?! *clasps hands together with a big smile and intake of breath* Can't WAIT! It really does seem to help though, thanks Cubby!
Love Theme from The Godfather, I will nail you.
Stuck in a rut, I went for my weekly lesson today (which was half an hour longer than usual since she was sick last week) and she started me playing some new things. Sharps and Flats ... Key of G ... stuff I haven't seen before. I admit, I kind of cheat most of the time and play ahead in the book on Tuesday nights to get a feel of whatever is next on the syllabus.
Anyway, she full-on busted out laughing at me today! And I'm like, WTH? When she laughs, she tries to talk and then it's even funnier because her Filipino accent is so thick! She finally gets a grip and is able to explain to me what she finds so hilariously funny: evidently I had played the opposite. Meaning, I was playing the notes meant for the treble clef with my LEFT hand, and vice versa. She said it was interesting to her that my brain worked that way. I've always felt I should have been left handed.
*bing* LIGHT BULB MOMENT.
In all my 7 years at Champs, I dealt with what I then called "Numeric Dyslexia." I didn't even know if that was a real thing because it was never a problem when I was in school, but I had ... something. I taught myself 10-Key and while I was punching numbers all day long, I saw them jumbled up in my head - I even thought them out of order, but somehow I would enter them correctly into the register according to what I was seeing. Imagine all the trouble I would have caused if I was putting them in wrong?! So long, Head Cashier. The only time I really noticed it since I left Champs was with phone numbers. If you were to give me your number, I'd probably say it back to you wrong, but I'd write it down or put it in my phone correctly. Apparently, this "dyslexia" if you will, is still with me and it's applicable to numbers, as well as reading music ... but not in anything else.
Weird right? So maybe that's why I'm having such a hard time now?
Cubstar, Clarissa with 2 less letters :), who's been playing piano about half her lifetime, suggested that I try playing a piece very slowly not worrying about the tempo until I get used to it. She said it would be years before my eyes, hands, and mind work together to put a piece together easily. Years?! *clasps hands together with a big smile and intake of breath* Can't WAIT! It really does seem to help though, thanks Cubby!
Love Theme from The Godfather, I will nail you.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
We're adults.
"When did this happen? And how do we make it stop?"
~ Meredith Grey
I went to The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf in Pearl City today and ordered my usual Pure Chocolate Hot despite the fact that it was 93 degrees there. It occurred to me as I waited that I was referred to as Ma'am rather than Miss by the college aged BOY who took my order. When did I become a MA'AM? And why am I so, so very bothered by this?
Perhaps this happened because working in the Studio requires that I wear dress slacks and dress shoes? Perhaps this happened because the Cole Haan purse my mom got for me to hold my piano books in was strapped to me rather than the Jansport backpack I usually have for work? Perhaps this happened because I wore my hair back in a chignon rather than down and flat-ironed to death?
Perhaps ... I am finally old and my age is evident in my face these days? Oh. The. Sadness.
I'm only as old as I feel right? Well, I feel OH EL DI.
Wah. Rant done. .
~ Meredith Grey
I went to The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf in Pearl City today and ordered my usual Pure Chocolate Hot despite the fact that it was 93 degrees there. It occurred to me as I waited that I was referred to as Ma'am rather than Miss by the college aged BOY who took my order. When did I become a MA'AM? And why am I so, so very bothered by this?
Perhaps this happened because working in the Studio requires that I wear dress slacks and dress shoes? Perhaps this happened because the Cole Haan purse my mom got for me to hold my piano books in was strapped to me rather than the Jansport backpack I usually have for work? Perhaps this happened because I wore my hair back in a chignon rather than down and flat-ironed to death?
Perhaps ... I am finally old and my age is evident in my face these days? Oh. The. Sadness.
I'm only as old as I feel right? Well, I feel OH EL DI.
Wah. Rant done. .
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Surprising news
from the doctor today. Last year he said I had to lose 50 lbs (read: Last March, 2 blogs down). I neglected to mention in that blog that I was borderline diabetic, according to him. My dad has been diabetic for about 20 years (controlled by oral medication) so I'm at a higher risk than most. Let's be simple about this, I am overweight. I know it, I accept that it's something that could use a change.
These are some numbers I never knew, maybe you didn't either:
OPTIMAL LEVELS
Total Cholesterol: <200
LDL (bad cholesterol): <100
Glucose (fasting): 60 - 100
BORDERLINE LEVELS
Total Cholesterol: 240
LDL (bad cholesterol): 160
Glucose (fasting): 140 - 199
These were my numbers last year:
03.21.08
Total Cholesterol: 192
LDL (bad cholesterol): 116
Glucose (fasting, but had sugar free gum): 127
These are my numbers from this morning:
05.02.09
Total Cholesterol: 155
LDL (bad cholesterol): 96
Glucose (fasting): 101
So I was "normal" all along?! Not optimal, but below borderline - in any case, lower numbers all together are a good thing. Anyway, he was surprised with my numbers today. I saw it in the way his thick eyebrows scrunched together and pulled up at the same time, if that's even possible. He expected to have to scold me. He turned to me and said "I don't know what you did." Not followed by any sort of "good job." Haha, this is why he's not a dad. I think it's kind of funny.
LDL cholesterol numbers, in case you're not aware, can be brought down simply by exercise. Lower LDL numbers means lower overall cholesterol. Get moving. Take the stairs. Walk to get your lunch if you can. The quicker you walk, the more time you have to eat. If I'm going to two different places in the same complex, I'll park halfway between both places, that way I'm forced to walk either way. I don't like to exercise. I refuse to be a gym rat, but I'm willing to do things that are remotely possible.
My piano instructor laughs at me when I say that I feel hot while I'm in my lesson. I guess when I play, my heart rate increases? This happens at home too. She says, *imagine this in your best Filipino accent* "thass guud yu ar hot, et mayks de kolesteral com awt!"
Whatever works, I suppose.
PS - I'm down 8 lbs from last year. Small change, but still change :)
These are some numbers I never knew, maybe you didn't either:
OPTIMAL LEVELS
Total Cholesterol: <200
LDL (bad cholesterol): <100
Glucose (fasting): 60 - 100
BORDERLINE LEVELS
Total Cholesterol: 240
LDL (bad cholesterol): 160
Glucose (fasting): 140 - 199
These were my numbers last year:
03.21.08
Total Cholesterol: 192
LDL (bad cholesterol): 116
Glucose (fasting, but had sugar free gum): 127
These are my numbers from this morning:
05.02.09
Total Cholesterol: 155
LDL (bad cholesterol): 96
Glucose (fasting): 101
So I was "normal" all along?! Not optimal, but below borderline - in any case, lower numbers all together are a good thing. Anyway, he was surprised with my numbers today. I saw it in the way his thick eyebrows scrunched together and pulled up at the same time, if that's even possible. He expected to have to scold me. He turned to me and said "I don't know what you did." Not followed by any sort of "good job." Haha, this is why he's not a dad. I think it's kind of funny.
LDL cholesterol numbers, in case you're not aware, can be brought down simply by exercise. Lower LDL numbers means lower overall cholesterol. Get moving. Take the stairs. Walk to get your lunch if you can. The quicker you walk, the more time you have to eat. If I'm going to two different places in the same complex, I'll park halfway between both places, that way I'm forced to walk either way. I don't like to exercise. I refuse to be a gym rat, but I'm willing to do things that are remotely possible.
My piano instructor laughs at me when I say that I feel hot while I'm in my lesson. I guess when I play, my heart rate increases? This happens at home too. She says, *imagine this in your best Filipino accent* "thass guud yu ar hot, et mayks de kolesteral com awt!"
Whatever works, I suppose.
PS - I'm down 8 lbs from last year. Small change, but still change :)
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
No one I know
that was forced to go to piano lessons as a child, liked it. I hated piano lessons when I was a kid too. I was 8 or 9 and I was sassy to my teacher. I hated her hair, the way she smiled, and the way she didn't change out of her duster to have company over. I hated the smell of her house, that her walkway was riddled with berries that smooshed under your feet, that no one ever bothered to sweep them away, and that the sun never reached far enough under that tree to dry those berries or the sidewalk up. We didn't go there very long, my brother & I, and then she passed away unexpectedly and I never saw her again. I internalized it, thinking I was part to blame for not being a good student. 20+ years later, I remember her house like it was yesterday: particularly, the sun shining through the window those few Saturday mornings onto her ugly red carpet and the old brown upright who's keys were yellowed by time, but I don't remember her name.
I began piano lessons four weeks ago. The plan was to start when I turned 30 but anyway ... fast forward: I enrolled and had my first lesson on April 1st. After lots of practice, and undoubtedly boring my husband and children to tears with overdone repetition, I currently play like this:
Love Makes The World Go Round, Bob Merrill, 1961!
I've still got a long way to go :)
I find a relaxing joy in learning to play the piano that somehow I feel I've been in search of for years. It is a 100% selfish passtime, a distraction, a diversion; all the things I don't choose to have for myself as everyone else's needs come before my own. I lose track of time while I practice, and when I stop sometimes 3 hours later, my arms hurt in the absolute best way possible. It is to say the least, a blessing on my soul.
I bought a digital piano (different from a keyboard) with a full set of hammer action keys and pedals, and while I know the acoustics will NEVER be as glorious as a real piano, the greatest benefit is the option to put on headphones and practice at 8pm or 2am and not inconvenience anyone. I've sacrificed the sound for an ever present opportunity.
My instructor is a crazy old Filipino lady - aren't they all?! - but I like her, she makes me laugh. She ripped me through 23 pages in my book the very first lesson and I thought she was going too fast. It was overwhelming, but I quickly realized that her style of teaching is exactly my style of learning. I expected to learn the same way I did as a child - one hand at a time with repetitive drilling for each finger - no deals. It's all fingers at the same time and both hands! What?! Theory is tough, but I know the ability to read music will be the ultimate reward - all things will be possible then and I look forward to it. So the next time I post a video it will hopefully be something brilliant. But don't hold your breath, it'll be a while!
I began piano lessons four weeks ago. The plan was to start when I turned 30 but anyway ... fast forward: I enrolled and had my first lesson on April 1st. After lots of practice, and undoubtedly boring my husband and children to tears with overdone repetition, I currently play like this:
Love Makes The World Go Round, Bob Merrill, 1961!
I've still got a long way to go :)
I find a relaxing joy in learning to play the piano that somehow I feel I've been in search of for years. It is a 100% selfish passtime, a distraction, a diversion; all the things I don't choose to have for myself as everyone else's needs come before my own. I lose track of time while I practice, and when I stop sometimes 3 hours later, my arms hurt in the absolute best way possible. It is to say the least, a blessing on my soul.
I bought a digital piano (different from a keyboard) with a full set of hammer action keys and pedals, and while I know the acoustics will NEVER be as glorious as a real piano, the greatest benefit is the option to put on headphones and practice at 8pm or 2am and not inconvenience anyone. I've sacrificed the sound for an ever present opportunity.
My instructor is a crazy old Filipino lady - aren't they all?! - but I like her, she makes me laugh. She ripped me through 23 pages in my book the very first lesson and I thought she was going too fast. It was overwhelming, but I quickly realized that her style of teaching is exactly my style of learning. I expected to learn the same way I did as a child - one hand at a time with repetitive drilling for each finger - no deals. It's all fingers at the same time and both hands! What?! Theory is tough, but I know the ability to read music will be the ultimate reward - all things will be possible then and I look forward to it. So the next time I post a video it will hopefully be something brilliant. But don't hold your breath, it'll be a while!
Monday, April 27, 2009
Last March
I went for my annual with Dr. Jamm, my OB/GYN (great name huh?), and it was routinely average. Blah blah blah. Then he said I had to lose 50 lbs. And I had a year to do it. Brash as I am, I told him flat out that he was crazy. He said if I lost a pound a week, in a year, I'd lose those 50 lbs. Seriously, I lose a pound every day taking off my jeans.
So let's be real. This is a 50 lb bag of rice at Costco in comparison to a shopping cart (don't mind the googled stolen image):
I'd say this bag is roughly the size of my torso. And I'm supposed to lose this weight from where on my body? I know I'm not skinny. I never have been, I don't think I ever will be. And I know I didn't try to the best of my ability to lose any significant amount of weight before my inevitable appointment this coming Saturday, that you might have noticed I delayed as it's soon to be May. But really? He said according to my BMI and my height and all that other stuff that I don't think includes Asian folks, I'm obese. THANKS, DOC. What a way with the ladies!
So I know I'm in for a scolding when I go back. I know he won't give me any credit for not GAINING any more weight. But I'm still 10 lbs lighter than before I got pregnant with my son who's now 7, so I've maintained for about 8 years, and after 2 children. That's not a bad thing is it?
Perhaps if I weighed myself as neurotically as Dr. Jamm does - before every meal to determine how much he can eat on a daily basis - I'd have the same view as him? Shyeah, NO. I'll worry when my general practitioner says I should, and when my clothes don't fit. For now I'll continue to make healthier decisions than I used to. I already drink more water than the average person, simply because I like it. And why DRINK calories you could EAT instead? I don't drink alcohol, I like veggies, I prefer chicken or fish over red meat, and salads are growing on me. If I'm alone, I take the stairs and it wouldn't hurt to jog on the treadmill more often either. Problem is I like food more than I like exercise, and I've got to like it to do it.
edit: As I mirrored this on FB, I realized my blogspot name. No wonder I'm obese?!
So let's be real. This is a 50 lb bag of rice at Costco in comparison to a shopping cart (don't mind the googled stolen image):
I'd say this bag is roughly the size of my torso. And I'm supposed to lose this weight from where on my body? I know I'm not skinny. I never have been, I don't think I ever will be. And I know I didn't try to the best of my ability to lose any significant amount of weight before my inevitable appointment this coming Saturday, that you might have noticed I delayed as it's soon to be May. But really? He said according to my BMI and my height and all that other stuff that I don't think includes Asian folks, I'm obese. THANKS, DOC. What a way with the ladies!
So I know I'm in for a scolding when I go back. I know he won't give me any credit for not GAINING any more weight. But I'm still 10 lbs lighter than before I got pregnant with my son who's now 7, so I've maintained for about 8 years, and after 2 children. That's not a bad thing is it?
Perhaps if I weighed myself as neurotically as Dr. Jamm does - before every meal to determine how much he can eat on a daily basis - I'd have the same view as him? Shyeah, NO. I'll worry when my general practitioner says I should, and when my clothes don't fit. For now I'll continue to make healthier decisions than I used to. I already drink more water than the average person, simply because I like it. And why DRINK calories you could EAT instead? I don't drink alcohol, I like veggies, I prefer chicken or fish over red meat, and salads are growing on me. If I'm alone, I take the stairs and it wouldn't hurt to jog on the treadmill more often either. Problem is I like food more than I like exercise, and I've got to like it to do it.
edit: As I mirrored this on FB, I realized my blogspot name. No wonder I'm obese?!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
A good read
GOD vs. SCIENCE
'Let me explain the problem science has with religion.' The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.
'You're a Christian, aren't you, son?'
'Yes sir,' the student says.
'So you believe in God?'
'Absolutely.
'Is God good?'
'Sure! God's good.'
'Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?'
'Yes'
'Are you good or evil?'
'The Bible says I'm evil.'
The professor grins knowingly. 'Aha! The Bible!' He considers for a moment. 'Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. Would you help him? Would you try?'
'Yes sir, I would.'
'So you're good...!'
'I wouldn't say that.'
'But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't.'
The student does not answer, so the professor continues. 'He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?'
The student remains silent.
'No, you can't, can you?' the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax.
'Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?'
'Err.. yes,' the student says.
' Is Satan good?'
The student doesn't hesitate on this one. 'No.'
'Then where does Satan come from?'
The student falters. 'From God'
'That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?'
'Yes, sir.'
'Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything correct??
'Yes'
'So who created evil?' The professor continued, 'If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil.'
Again, the student has no answer. 'Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?'
The student squirms on his feet. 'Yes.'
'So who created them?'
The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. 'Who created them?' There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized. 'Tell me,' he continues onto another student.
'Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?
The student's voice betrays him and cracks. 'Yes, professor, I do.'
The old man stops pacing. 'Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?'
'No sir. I've never seen Him.'
'Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?'
'No, sir, I have not.'
'Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelled your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?'
'No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't.'
'Yet you still believe in him?'
'Yes'
'According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?'
'Nothing,' the student replies. 'I only have my faith.'
'Yes, faith,' the professor repeats. 'And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith.'
The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of His own. 'Professor, is there such thing as heat?'
' Yes.'
'And is there such a thing as cold?'
'Yes, son, there's cold too.'
'No sir, there isn't.'
The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested.
The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain.
'You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to - 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest - 458 degrees.'
'Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.'
Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.
'What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?'
'Yes,' the professor replies without hesitation. 'What is night if it isn't darkness?'
'You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define t he word. In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?'
The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. 'So what point are you making, young man?
'Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed.'
The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. 'Flawed? Can you explain how?'
'You are working on the premise of duality,' the student explains.. 'You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.'
'Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?'
'If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do.'
'Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?'
The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.
'Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?'
The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided.
'To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean.'
The student looks around the room. 'Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?'
The class breaks out into laughter.
'Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched or smelled the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir.'
'So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?'
Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable.
Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. 'I guess you'll have to take them on faith.'
'Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life,' the student continues. 'Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?'
Now uncertain, the professor responds, 'Of course, there is. We see it everyday It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.'
To this the student replied, 'Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light.'
The professor sat down.
The student was Albert Einstein.
'For we walk by faith, not by sight.' 2 Corinthians 5:7
'Let me explain the problem science has with religion.' The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.
'You're a Christian, aren't you, son?'
'Yes sir,' the student says.
'So you believe in God?'
'Absolutely.
'Is God good?'
'Sure! God's good.'
'Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?'
'Yes'
'Are you good or evil?'
'The Bible says I'm evil.'
The professor grins knowingly. 'Aha! The Bible!' He considers for a moment. 'Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. Would you help him? Would you try?'
'Yes sir, I would.'
'So you're good...!'
'I wouldn't say that.'
'But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't.'
The student does not answer, so the professor continues. 'He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?'
The student remains silent.
'No, you can't, can you?' the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax.
'Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?'
'Err.. yes,' the student says.
' Is Satan good?'
The student doesn't hesitate on this one. 'No.'
'Then where does Satan come from?'
The student falters. 'From God'
'That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?'
'Yes, sir.'
'Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything correct??
'Yes'
'So who created evil?' The professor continued, 'If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil.'
Again, the student has no answer. 'Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?'
The student squirms on his feet. 'Yes.'
'So who created them?'
The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. 'Who created them?' There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized. 'Tell me,' he continues onto another student.
'Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?
The student's voice betrays him and cracks. 'Yes, professor, I do.'
The old man stops pacing. 'Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?'
'No sir. I've never seen Him.'
'Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?'
'No, sir, I have not.'
'Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelled your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?'
'No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't.'
'Yet you still believe in him?'
'Yes'
'According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?'
'Nothing,' the student replies. 'I only have my faith.'
'Yes, faith,' the professor repeats. 'And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith.'
The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of His own. 'Professor, is there such thing as heat?'
' Yes.'
'And is there such a thing as cold?'
'Yes, son, there's cold too.'
'No sir, there isn't.'
The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested.
The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain.
'You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to - 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest - 458 degrees.'
'Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.'
Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.
'What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?'
'Yes,' the professor replies without hesitation. 'What is night if it isn't darkness?'
'You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define t he word. In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?'
The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. 'So what point are you making, young man?
'Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed.'
The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. 'Flawed? Can you explain how?'
'You are working on the premise of duality,' the student explains.. 'You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.'
'Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?'
'If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do.'
'Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?'
The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.
'Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?'
The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided.
'To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean.'
The student looks around the room. 'Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?'
The class breaks out into laughter.
'Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched or smelled the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir.'
'So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?'
Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable.
Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. 'I guess you'll have to take them on faith.'
'Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life,' the student continues. 'Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?'
Now uncertain, the professor responds, 'Of course, there is. We see it everyday It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.'
To this the student replied, 'Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light.'
The professor sat down.
The student was Albert Einstein.
'For we walk by faith, not by sight.' 2 Corinthians 5:7
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Are there superstitions
about people who have passed on coming to see you in a dream? I should ask my mom, she would know. This morning Rocky was in my dreams - his eyes bright blue, his skin sunkissed, his hair blond and streaky. A month ago yesterday he passed and I was sad when I heard the news, but honestly I haven't given him too much conscious thought because I guess in a way, I'm still sad that he's gone.
In my dream we talked a lot, which was not something we did while he was here. We exchanged salutations regularly, but rarely ever had any spoken conversation. We talked about his wife Jena and how she knew me, and about his baby that Jena has nicknamed Pebble. He asked me if it was a boy or girl and I said judging from the nick name, I thought it was a girl, although pebbles are little rocks ... to this he smiled so big he crinkled his nose and scrunched his eyes nearly shut. Smiles weren't something Rocky spent a lot on me.
The Rocky I remember was reserved and serious, except when he was talking about God's awesomeness and how HE worked in his life - he really didn't smile a whole lot then either, but his eyes gave away the excitement of the promise he wanted to share with everyone.
In May it will be a year since my uncle passed away. I wrote a blog then about how I knew he was perfect again and no longer suffering because he came in my dreams that same night and smiled at me. I still clearly remember what he was wearing.
I'm guessing this is probably much the same thing? My subconscious is letting me know Rocky is perfect in the presence of our Lord. He's able to have lengthy, comprehensive conversations and he's excited about his child. Like I said before, I'm confident Rocky is double-fisted stoked to be with Jesus. I wonder if they chat over coffee?
In my dream we talked a lot, which was not something we did while he was here. We exchanged salutations regularly, but rarely ever had any spoken conversation. We talked about his wife Jena and how she knew me, and about his baby that Jena has nicknamed Pebble. He asked me if it was a boy or girl and I said judging from the nick name, I thought it was a girl, although pebbles are little rocks ... to this he smiled so big he crinkled his nose and scrunched his eyes nearly shut. Smiles weren't something Rocky spent a lot on me.
The Rocky I remember was reserved and serious, except when he was talking about God's awesomeness and how HE worked in his life - he really didn't smile a whole lot then either, but his eyes gave away the excitement of the promise he wanted to share with everyone.
In May it will be a year since my uncle passed away. I wrote a blog then about how I knew he was perfect again and no longer suffering because he came in my dreams that same night and smiled at me. I still clearly remember what he was wearing.
I'm guessing this is probably much the same thing? My subconscious is letting me know Rocky is perfect in the presence of our Lord. He's able to have lengthy, comprehensive conversations and he's excited about his child. Like I said before, I'm confident Rocky is double-fisted stoked to be with Jesus. I wonder if they chat over coffee?
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Sometimes forwarded emails are worth reading :)
I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE.
HERE IS MY PLATFORM:
(1) 'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.
(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart 's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'
(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.
(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border (six month tour). They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.
(5) Social security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't getting nuttin out. The president nor any other politician will not be able to touch it.
(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis and a passing grade.
(7) Professional Athletes--Steroids. The FIRST time you check positive you're banned for life.
(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more life sentences. If convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim; gun, knife, strangulation, etc.
(9) One export will be allowed, Wheat. The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.
(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.
(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.
(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.
Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes
GOD BLESS AMERICA .
Bill Cosby
(1) 'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.
(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart 's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'
(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.
(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border (six month tour). They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.
(5) Social security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't getting nuttin out. The president nor any other politician will not be able to touch it.
(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis and a passing grade.
(7) Professional Athletes--Steroids. The FIRST time you check positive you're banned for life.
(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more life sentences. If convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim; gun, knife, strangulation, etc.
(9) One export will be allowed, Wheat. The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.
(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.
(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.
(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.
Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes
GOD BLESS AMERICA .
Bill Cosby
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Sometimes Goodbye's The Only Way
I feel it on my heart to blog about Rocky, but I'm not sure what it is I want to say. I guess in a way, my time spent missing him happened a long time ago when he moved to California after serving his time as our MMC Worship Leader.
After he moved it was good to share an email with him once in a while, and it was hard to believe such a good man had to suffer when we heard of his brain tumor in 2007. It was even more heartbreaking to hear he had to fight it once more. I always believed Rocky to be a survivor, the traveled man that he was. I believed he would beat it again this time. He told Matt he wanted to put down roots, that he wanted to get married and have a family and I believed, or underlyingly just hoped, he would see and hold his baby due this coming June. God has a different plan than I do most of the time ... but I know for certain Rocky is double-fisted stoked to be with Jesus.
BOYCE AVENUE - I love this version.
We love you Rocky!
09.20.74 - 02.25.09
Find Rocky Green on iTunes
or purchase his CDs at www.rockygreen.com
After he moved it was good to share an email with him once in a while, and it was hard to believe such a good man had to suffer when we heard of his brain tumor in 2007. It was even more heartbreaking to hear he had to fight it once more. I always believed Rocky to be a survivor, the traveled man that he was. I believed he would beat it again this time. He told Matt he wanted to put down roots, that he wanted to get married and have a family and I believed, or underlyingly just hoped, he would see and hold his baby due this coming June. God has a different plan than I do most of the time ... but I know for certain Rocky is double-fisted stoked to be with Jesus.
09.20.74 - 02.25.09
Find Rocky Green on iTunes
or purchase his CDs at www.rockygreen.com
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Staci's Yakudoshi
Not just a birthday party, but a little bit of Asian Studies too.
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| Make a Smilebox photobook |
Saturday, February 21, 2009
The Human Eardrum
is the size of a dime.
On May 7th, 2008 my Littleman had surgery to remove glue-like fluid from his middle ear in both sides. He wasn't afraid at all and was such a champ! He's chatting here with the anesthesiologist who brought the mask ahead of time for him to get familiar with it. It still today smells like bubble gum.
At his 9 month check up this morning, Dr. Murakami, his ENT, removed the tubes. His eardrums have healed over and although he has some fluid in his middle ear because he has a cold, his doctor is confident he'll be good as new in a month. And yes, I left them cruddy for good measure :)
On May 7th, 2008 my Littleman had surgery to remove glue-like fluid from his middle ear in both sides. He wasn't afraid at all and was such a champ! He's chatting here with the anesthesiologist who brought the mask ahead of time for him to get familiar with it. It still today smells like bubble gum. 
At his 9 month check up this morning, Dr. Murakami, his ENT, removed the tubes. His eardrums have healed over and although he has some fluid in his middle ear because he has a cold, his doctor is confident he'll be good as new in a month. And yes, I left them cruddy for good measure :)
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Tow Truckin'
If you’re reading this, then you know me, and you know I wouldn’t call myself religious. I’m no bible-thumper, I can’t quote scripture, I don’t usually hear what the good Lord is telling me and sometimes, even if I do, I may choose to pretend that I don’t. But I wanted to share this anyway.
Last April I began noticing tow trucks while driving. For whatever reason it happens that I notice, I take the quick opportunity as it races past me to simply thank God for His continued blessings.
Your eyebrow might be raised about now with a ? above your head, but maybe I can explain it so you can see what I see?
Tow trucks have become an obvious reminder of Jesus for me because all I see is the hitch thing on the back end of the truck. I probably couldn’t tell you the company and not even the color of the truck, but when a tow truck is not towing another car, that hitch thing is folded up and whatdayaknow? It’s shaped like a cross. A cross, on it’s BACK.
Think about it: tow trucks come to help you when you’re stuck. They shoulder your burden and sometimes carry you too, to get you where you need to be or more than likely, to get you home to a safe place. More often than not, a tow truck saves us. Isn’t that what Jesus does?
It’s when we’re stuck and there’s no one else that we find out all we need is Jesus. Or a tow truck. Whatever the case may be :)
.......
"In happy moments, praise God.
In difficult moments, seek God.
In quiet moments, worship God.
In painful moments, trust God.
In every moment, thank God."
.......
Last April I began noticing tow trucks while driving. For whatever reason it happens that I notice, I take the quick opportunity as it races past me to simply thank God for His continued blessings.
Your eyebrow might be raised about now with a ? above your head, but maybe I can explain it so you can see what I see?
Tow trucks have become an obvious reminder of Jesus for me because all I see is the hitch thing on the back end of the truck. I probably couldn’t tell you the company and not even the color of the truck, but when a tow truck is not towing another car, that hitch thing is folded up and whatdayaknow? It’s shaped like a cross. A cross, on it’s BACK.
Think about it: tow trucks come to help you when you’re stuck. They shoulder your burden and sometimes carry you too, to get you where you need to be or more than likely, to get you home to a safe place. More often than not, a tow truck saves us. Isn’t that what Jesus does?
It’s when we’re stuck and there’s no one else that we find out all we need is Jesus. Or a tow truck. Whatever the case may be :)
.......
"In happy moments, praise God.
In difficult moments, seek God.
In quiet moments, worship God.
In painful moments, trust God.
In every moment, thank God."
.......
Saturday, January 17, 2009
A long time ago
I was going to be an Orthodontist. Why I had this dream when I was a kid, is distant to me now. When it came time for me to go to college, my 3.95 gpa was not enough to get me in at any school other than UH at Manoa, and my parents couldn't have afforded to send me away even if I wanted to go. So while dorming at UH my first year, I'd come to realize that I hated school, and had hated it all my 18 years, but I got good grades because that's what you're supposed to go to school for. By the time I got to college, I was spent and I was not in for the long haul to become any kind of doctor. So there went that.
But I'm the kind of kid that can't give up and I had to make my Filipino dad proud. So I finished college at UH, an extra year longer than expected, but I did it, and bought a Bachelor of Arts degree in Family Development because at the time I had to declare a major, I was working at the YMCA. And I earned a Minor in Speech, because I happened to enjoy the classes I had to take as electives. Imagine that, ME, in Speech?!
I spent 7 years in retail, refusing to move up and buying time ... for what, I didn't know. It was relatively easy with the exception of Holiday and I was good at it. It allowed me to have time at home when my Littleman decided to make his debut, and the same went for my Ladybug. It was indeed a blessing although at the time, I couldn't see being a stay at home mom. I convinced myself that when they were old enough to start school, I'd use my degree and get a real job. Well, my Littleman is not so little anymore, a scholar in the making, and the Ladybug will begin Kindergarten in the Fall.
I kind of always knew God had a bigger plan for me, but what was unusual was that I was okay with that. I'm the kind of crazy that needs to know What, When, Where, Why, and How, right now. And here I am, many years later; a photographer and studio lead for America's leading school portrait company. I'd say it's a not-so-far cry from my degree since I work with children and families. And not-so-far off the mark of an Orthodontist in a way ... because I make smiles.
I am a SmileSmith.
Hah!
But I'm the kind of kid that can't give up and I had to make my Filipino dad proud. So I finished college at UH, an extra year longer than expected, but I did it, and bought a Bachelor of Arts degree in Family Development because at the time I had to declare a major, I was working at the YMCA. And I earned a Minor in Speech, because I happened to enjoy the classes I had to take as electives. Imagine that, ME, in Speech?!
I spent 7 years in retail, refusing to move up and buying time ... for what, I didn't know. It was relatively easy with the exception of Holiday and I was good at it. It allowed me to have time at home when my Littleman decided to make his debut, and the same went for my Ladybug. It was indeed a blessing although at the time, I couldn't see being a stay at home mom. I convinced myself that when they were old enough to start school, I'd use my degree and get a real job. Well, my Littleman is not so little anymore, a scholar in the making, and the Ladybug will begin Kindergarten in the Fall.
I kind of always knew God had a bigger plan for me, but what was unusual was that I was okay with that. I'm the kind of crazy that needs to know What, When, Where, Why, and How, right now. And here I am, many years later; a photographer and studio lead for America's leading school portrait company. I'd say it's a not-so-far cry from my degree since I work with children and families. And not-so-far off the mark of an Orthodontist in a way ... because I make smiles.
I am a SmileSmith.
Hah!
Monday, January 12, 2009
My Chains Are Gone
Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace
The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures
The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine
- Chris Tomlin
.......
Funerals are a strange thing to photograph ... but when you're asked to, especially for family, I guess you kinda gotta. I made a video of the stills I took for Auntie Anida set to Chris Tomlin's Amazing Grace. I wish I could post it here, but unfortunately, it's too big.
.......
Crisanta M.R. Aranda
10.25.22 - 10.28.08
"Come to me, all who are weary, and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11:28
Saturday, January 10, 2009
And so it begins ...
I normally enjoy blogging, but now that I'm here, I've got nothing to say. I suppose ramblings will come in time. Stay tuned, I might have something profound to say eventually!
.......
"Everything happens for a reason.
People change so you can learn to let go.
Things go wrong so that you appreciate when they're right.
You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes,
good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
- Marilyn Monroe
.......
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