Sunday, October 30, 2011
"I'm Clarissa." ... "What's that?" ... Really.
With new seasonal hires just starting out, you never know whom you'll meet. Enter, *****. Its been established that she's the kind of person who asks you a question about yourself but doesn't exactly listen to the answer, just so she can incessantly talk about herself. In passing, another co-worker asked if I would be taking my keiki Trick-or-Treating, I paused then said "I don't celebrate." The new girl splashes on in with a loud and high-pitched whiny "whyyy?!" as if I'm offending her. Uhh, okay. No, we're not going Trick-or-Treating.
Fast forward, I'm on the floor replenishing the dreaded 3-button sweaters, and she comes up and asks if I'm Christian. I say, "I'm Clarissa." She asks, with her head cocked to one side and eyebrows furrowed, and I can almost see her hamster running at full speed on the little wheel inside her head, "What's that?" Really. Christian, is another employee.
Yes, I am a Christian. She proceeds:
"Because I'm Catholic.
Raised straight Spanish Catholic! *insert woop woop * though she didn't actually say it*
But my sister, my sister married a man.
And he's Christian.
So she's Christian now.
So she doesn't celebrate Halloween either.
But I don't know why she's a Christian because when she gets mad, she still cusses ..."
And she goes on and on ... and on ...
At some point, I believe I was nodding while pretending to listen as I folded down that table to fill it. Mind you, she's just standing there talking, while I fold. I don't really remember how or when the conversation ended, I think I just walked away.
How un-Christian of me to not even Want to explain.
Fast forward to my meal break at 3pm. My Goodness, if I'm ever in the break room at the same time again, my break shall be had elsewhere. 15 minutes was far too long to share that tiny, tiny space.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Poverty.
In 2009, The Department for Health & Human Services reported the poverty level in Hawaii to be at $21,060 a year. At the minimum wage rate of $7.25 an hour, one would earn $15,080 if he or she worked 40 hours a week, 52 weeks a year.
In just a matter of months, my life has changed drastically. I went from living a life where I could give my children whatever they wanted whenever they wanted, to living, in Poverty. Now, if you're like me, you might see poverty as being homeless, as being dirty, as being lazy. If you're reading this then you know me and you know I'm none of those things. You know I work hard at my job(s) and you know I don't make minimum wage either but looking at my financials for 2010, I am living just a hair above the reported poverty level because my full time job is seasonal. In fact, the poverty level goes up every year. For 2009, I'm borderline, for 2010, I'm probably right there in the mix.
The financial hardships I have I fully own acceptance of. I always say I chose this path, so I'm trying to make it on my own. I was finally fully laid off from my full time job at the beginning of November. Unemployment benefits is no easy path. It's a lot of waiting, a lot of patience, a lot of hoops to jump through. Because my hours kept dwindling d-o-w-n, it was a long and drawn out process over two months. Unemployment wouldn't process my claim until I was fully separated from the job. By then, I was working only 8 hours a WEEK. And after I was fully separated, they told me it would take three weeks to receive any benefit. AND! Because I still have my part time job, the benefit is a fraction. Still, I thought, some benefit is better than none. However, now a month later, I find out that I will be receiving Nothing. My unemployment claim is being denied because of my part time job, so I've decided to withdraw the claim. The state has implemented a program called REA = Reemployment Eligibility Assessment. It's a class, basically, to teach you how to re-work your resume and how to interview in order to be reintroduced to the workplace. I spent nearly 3 hours there last Wednesday wasting time, rescheduled from my shift at Banana because it was mandatory. I found out the class is 8 weeks long, and they are required to report your attendance to the Unemployment Office. No compliance = No check. Except, I've received nothing in a month. So I called, and waited ONE HOUR on hold just to get through, and said that I didn't think I should be made to attend this class seeing as I receive no benefit at all. The gentleman on the phone said I shouldn't do that, that I should keep claiming even though I exceed the allowance, because after the holidays I'll probably get cut back down. Way to go state worker! Encourage people to juice the system. I stood my ground and am mailing out the papers to cancel the claim completely tomorrow morning.
SNAP (Supplemental Nutritional Assistance Program) aka, EBT and formerly known as Food Stamps, is an even rougher path. There are two types of benefit you can apply for through SNAP: a food benefit now on plastic and used Just like a debit card, and/or cash withdrawable for use as you wish. I never thought I'd see the day I'd have to ask for this kind of help. With the way these systems have been abused, it's no wonder it's nearly impossible for anyone who really needs it to get it in their time of need. It will be seven weeks from the time I applied to the time I get an interview to see if I can even Qualify at all. If I had no part time job and no savings, what would I do? How would I feed my children? Harsh realities.
Late this past summer I had the daunting choice of putting gas in my car or buying food. That, was about as low as I thought it could get. Truth is folks, no matter how bad you think it is, or how close to rock bottom you think you are, it can and does get worse.
So. What's a 32 year old single mother, with a BA degree, do when she's been laid off and can't get any financial aid or find stable full time work before her savings is completely emptied out?
* Marvel at the way the world and all it's injustices works.
* Find ways to keep her happy, healthy keiki happy and healthy at little to no cost.
* Smile that she's still alive :)
* Look forward to a time when she can say she made it through the darkest time of her life.
My ma never said to me that I could do or be anything I wanted. My pops never said nothing was out of my reach as long as I never gave up. My parents didn't teach me that I'd find the ability within myself to make it through any hardship thrust into my path (or chosen). But somehow, this belief has always been with me, oftentimes in the forefront of my mind, but sometimes shoved so far back I'd forgotten it was there. And now, I believe it More Than Ever.
In just a matter of months, my life has changed drastically. I went from living a life where I could give my children whatever they wanted whenever they wanted, to living, in Poverty. Now, if you're like me, you might see poverty as being homeless, as being dirty, as being lazy. If you're reading this then you know me and you know I'm none of those things. You know I work hard at my job(s) and you know I don't make minimum wage either but looking at my financials for 2010, I am living just a hair above the reported poverty level because my full time job is seasonal. In fact, the poverty level goes up every year. For 2009, I'm borderline, for 2010, I'm probably right there in the mix.
The financial hardships I have I fully own acceptance of. I always say I chose this path, so I'm trying to make it on my own. I was finally fully laid off from my full time job at the beginning of November. Unemployment benefits is no easy path. It's a lot of waiting, a lot of patience, a lot of hoops to jump through. Because my hours kept dwindling d-o-w-n, it was a long and drawn out process over two months. Unemployment wouldn't process my claim until I was fully separated from the job. By then, I was working only 8 hours a WEEK. And after I was fully separated, they told me it would take three weeks to receive any benefit. AND! Because I still have my part time job, the benefit is a fraction. Still, I thought, some benefit is better than none. However, now a month later, I find out that I will be receiving Nothing. My unemployment claim is being denied because of my part time job, so I've decided to withdraw the claim. The state has implemented a program called REA = Reemployment Eligibility Assessment. It's a class, basically, to teach you how to re-work your resume and how to interview in order to be reintroduced to the workplace. I spent nearly 3 hours there last Wednesday wasting time, rescheduled from my shift at Banana because it was mandatory. I found out the class is 8 weeks long, and they are required to report your attendance to the Unemployment Office. No compliance = No check. Except, I've received nothing in a month. So I called, and waited ONE HOUR on hold just to get through, and said that I didn't think I should be made to attend this class seeing as I receive no benefit at all. The gentleman on the phone said I shouldn't do that, that I should keep claiming even though I exceed the allowance, because after the holidays I'll probably get cut back down. Way to go state worker! Encourage people to juice the system. I stood my ground and am mailing out the papers to cancel the claim completely tomorrow morning.
SNAP (Supplemental Nutritional Assistance Program) aka, EBT and formerly known as Food Stamps, is an even rougher path. There are two types of benefit you can apply for through SNAP: a food benefit now on plastic and used Just like a debit card, and/or cash withdrawable for use as you wish. I never thought I'd see the day I'd have to ask for this kind of help. With the way these systems have been abused, it's no wonder it's nearly impossible for anyone who really needs it to get it in their time of need. It will be seven weeks from the time I applied to the time I get an interview to see if I can even Qualify at all. If I had no part time job and no savings, what would I do? How would I feed my children? Harsh realities.
Late this past summer I had the daunting choice of putting gas in my car or buying food. That, was about as low as I thought it could get. Truth is folks, no matter how bad you think it is, or how close to rock bottom you think you are, it can and does get worse.
So. What's a 32 year old single mother, with a BA degree, do when she's been laid off and can't get any financial aid or find stable full time work before her savings is completely emptied out?
* Marvel at the way the world and all it's injustices works.
* Find ways to keep her happy, healthy keiki happy and healthy at little to no cost.
* Smile that she's still alive :)
* Look forward to a time when she can say she made it through the darkest time of her life.
My ma never said to me that I could do or be anything I wanted. My pops never said nothing was out of my reach as long as I never gave up. My parents didn't teach me that I'd find the ability within myself to make it through any hardship thrust into my path (or chosen). But somehow, this belief has always been with me, oftentimes in the forefront of my mind, but sometimes shoved so far back I'd forgotten it was there. And now, I believe it More Than Ever.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Well, it's been a while?
I logged in to my Myspace this morning looking for this blog in particular. I was interested in all the others I found as well. Maybe I'll post those to Facebook sometime. They're an interesting read to say the least. Anyway, carry on.
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Oct 20, 2006
Four Seconds to Suicide
Okay, don't freak out! It's not me, it will never be me. But I'm watching 20/20 and it's a story about documentary film maker Eric Steel who filmed actual suicides and suicide attempts off The Golden Gate Bridge in San Franscisco for the year of 2004. Critics say what he's going is a horrible thing. They say his film will cause the number of suicides to increase. His intent was to document the human spirit in crisis. He's trying to prove the point that bridge authorities should have a suicide barrier - meaning they should correct the mistake first made on the bridge and raise the railing. He's trying to put reality in the face of the people who maintain that bridge, that they can save the two dozen people that die that way every year. He and his crew filmed 23 of the 24 suicides that year and saved 6 people, one of whom they saved several times by having their own cell phones programmed to speed dial bridge authorities.
I cannot even begin to imagine that life could be so bad that one could stand on a bridge and hurl themself off knowing life will be no more. Reportedly, it takes only 4 seconds to hit the water after jumping. Falling the 25 stories gets you up to 75 miles an hour and your body shatters when you hit the water. There have been a recorded 1200 suicides off the Golden Gate since it opened in 1932. Thousands of people walk and drive along that bridge while this happens. Do they just keep going when they see someone jump?
What got me the worst was that the people who attempt and fail are manhandled to the ground, handcuffed, and carted off. Do they not understand that these people need help? Their lives are spinning out of control, the last thing they need is to be thrown in jail. It might put it off a bit, but it does not help them, it does not stop them. The part that wrenched my stomach was when Steel described the moment of impact. He said that there is a huge splash ... and in a matter of minutes, the ripple of that person's life is gone as though it had never been. The water smoothes over and the traffic and weather continues on.
How sad is that? And are the aesthetics of the bridge more important than stopping the successful suicide that occurs on average every two weeks? The Golden Gate Bridge is a tourist attraction in all it's beautiful glory. It is also the number one suicide destination world wide. I never knew that. And I wonder if all the souls that are left there are somehow at peace.
-------------
Four years later, I, am, here.
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Oct 20, 2006
Four Seconds to Suicide
Okay, don't freak out! It's not me, it will never be me. But I'm watching 20/20 and it's a story about documentary film maker Eric Steel who filmed actual suicides and suicide attempts off The Golden Gate Bridge in San Franscisco for the year of 2004. Critics say what he's going is a horrible thing. They say his film will cause the number of suicides to increase. His intent was to document the human spirit in crisis. He's trying to prove the point that bridge authorities should have a suicide barrier - meaning they should correct the mistake first made on the bridge and raise the railing. He's trying to put reality in the face of the people who maintain that bridge, that they can save the two dozen people that die that way every year. He and his crew filmed 23 of the 24 suicides that year and saved 6 people, one of whom they saved several times by having their own cell phones programmed to speed dial bridge authorities.
I cannot even begin to imagine that life could be so bad that one could stand on a bridge and hurl themself off knowing life will be no more. Reportedly, it takes only 4 seconds to hit the water after jumping. Falling the 25 stories gets you up to 75 miles an hour and your body shatters when you hit the water. There have been a recorded 1200 suicides off the Golden Gate since it opened in 1932. Thousands of people walk and drive along that bridge while this happens. Do they just keep going when they see someone jump?
What got me the worst was that the people who attempt and fail are manhandled to the ground, handcuffed, and carted off. Do they not understand that these people need help? Their lives are spinning out of control, the last thing they need is to be thrown in jail. It might put it off a bit, but it does not help them, it does not stop them. The part that wrenched my stomach was when Steel described the moment of impact. He said that there is a huge splash ... and in a matter of minutes, the ripple of that person's life is gone as though it had never been. The water smoothes over and the traffic and weather continues on.
How sad is that? And are the aesthetics of the bridge more important than stopping the successful suicide that occurs on average every two weeks? The Golden Gate Bridge is a tourist attraction in all it's beautiful glory. It is also the number one suicide destination world wide. I never knew that. And I wonder if all the souls that are left there are somehow at peace.
-------------
Four years later, I, am, here.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
If it were only this simple?
Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by.
If you smile through your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow,
You'll see the sun come shining through for you.
Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you just smile.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
10
The butt end of two of my vehicles now sport the number 10, for October, and what an adventure that's been! The mustang has sat for months not running. I took it upon myself to get it there, and after breaking it, I'm still rather proud of myself :) I charged the battery, got it to Flagship to get the oil changed, and attempted to get a safety check. Now, if you've got Geico like I do, then maybe you know that if you should lose your actual insurance cards, they'll email you copies for your convenience which you can print up. These cards, while claimed to be completely legitimate from Geico themselves, are not acceptable in the real world, for things like getting a safety check, or say, getting on base, because they are printed on plain paper and could possibly be fabricated. However, in this fabulous fast forwarded month of October, I've been able to use the cards I have to do All these things!
October 14th, the fiasco with the mustang's safety check began with them not even doing the safety check even though I asked them to fail it so I could take the blue slip which gives me 30 days to do whatever needs to be done to correct the fail and not be cited for it. So, in an effort to give me quality customer service for not doing a service I requested, they decide to pass it, but give me stickers that belong to someone else. They call and say I need to bring the car back so I did and they take the tags back, for the White Ford Explorer, it belonged to. And because I was honest, the inspector passed me, no problem.
October 17th, I photograph a wedding on Pearl Harbor and I get in with this seemingly fabricated insurance card without so much as a flinch from the guard. Hickam, for the reception, is a different story. This guy is cocky to no end, and repeats everything I say back to me as though it's a question. I tell him that Geico allows this card to be used as a replacement. He says he'll check with his supervisor and walks out. I wait. He comes back and proceeds to write me a pass. Hello? You was wrong ah? Thanks!
Today, October 31st. We head out to town on this first Saturday in forever that I'm not working, and I realize, the red 10 on the back of the Yukon is smiling at me! Oh jeez. It's been telling me for days that it needs an oil change anyway, so after dropping off the family at home, I take it. I realize when I ask for the oil change and safety check, that I've still not gotten the original insurance cards and this guy is gonna tell me the same schpeil. And before he can even shake his head, I say, "I know you won't take this so can you fail me and give me the blue slip? I have to come back either way." He looks at me, blinks, and nods. Uhh, ok? I walk over to Longs, and come back at the time I'm promised my truck, and lo and behold, it's not even in the bay yet. I take a seat with my Monster and wait. Alex, his name embroidered on name tag says, comes in and says, "Clarissa?" I look up and say "Yes?" He says he can't pass it with this insurance card but will give me the blue slip. I say ok with a smile, and return to texting. Minutes later, the Yukon rolls out of the bay, and up to the front, so I walk out, toss my package through the front window onto the seat and walk back in to pay.
The girl behind the counter, with black tipped acrylic nails adorned with red spiders and white webs festively for Halloween, slaps down my papers and says, "The inspector is being nice today and he's gonna pass your truck, even though this isn't an acceptable insurance card. I don't know why." To this, I express my gratitude and smile at her too, she's not amused. Ahahah!
October 14th, the fiasco with the mustang's safety check began with them not even doing the safety check even though I asked them to fail it so I could take the blue slip which gives me 30 days to do whatever needs to be done to correct the fail and not be cited for it. So, in an effort to give me quality customer service for not doing a service I requested, they decide to pass it, but give me stickers that belong to someone else. They call and say I need to bring the car back so I did and they take the tags back, for the White Ford Explorer, it belonged to. And because I was honest, the inspector passed me, no problem.
October 17th, I photograph a wedding on Pearl Harbor and I get in with this seemingly fabricated insurance card without so much as a flinch from the guard. Hickam, for the reception, is a different story. This guy is cocky to no end, and repeats everything I say back to me as though it's a question. I tell him that Geico allows this card to be used as a replacement. He says he'll check with his supervisor and walks out. I wait. He comes back and proceeds to write me a pass. Hello? You was wrong ah? Thanks!
Today, October 31st. We head out to town on this first Saturday in forever that I'm not working, and I realize, the red 10 on the back of the Yukon is smiling at me! Oh jeez. It's been telling me for days that it needs an oil change anyway, so after dropping off the family at home, I take it. I realize when I ask for the oil change and safety check, that I've still not gotten the original insurance cards and this guy is gonna tell me the same schpeil. And before he can even shake his head, I say, "I know you won't take this so can you fail me and give me the blue slip? I have to come back either way." He looks at me, blinks, and nods. Uhh, ok? I walk over to Longs, and come back at the time I'm promised my truck, and lo and behold, it's not even in the bay yet. I take a seat with my Monster and wait. Alex, his name embroidered on name tag says, comes in and says, "Clarissa?" I look up and say "Yes?" He says he can't pass it with this insurance card but will give me the blue slip. I say ok with a smile, and return to texting. Minutes later, the Yukon rolls out of the bay, and up to the front, so I walk out, toss my package through the front window onto the seat and walk back in to pay.
The girl behind the counter, with black tipped acrylic nails adorned with red spiders and white webs festively for Halloween, slaps down my papers and says, "The inspector is being nice today and he's gonna pass your truck, even though this isn't an acceptable insurance card. I don't know why." To this, I express my gratitude and smile at her too, she's not amused. Ahahah!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Sweet September
Wow, looking at my last post, I'm kinda saddened I didn't update with how great September was for me! September is full of birthdays - ever noticed that? Because it's 9 months following December, cold time. Haha! So, Happy Belateds to my September babies!
September 2 - Misty
September 9 - Tiffany
September 10 - Fernando
September 15 - Janice
September 15 - Torres
September 16 - Rovyn
September 20 - Priscilla & Victoria
September 20 - Rocky
September 20 - Anabellyn
September 25 - Shiela Lyn
September 25 - Brandon
September 26 - MelJoy
September 27 - Chris
Sweetsigh for September, a Very good month. A wonderful time following the sad struggle that was August, that come to think of it, August always is for me. So many blessings this number 9 seemed to bring. Maybe 9 is my new favorite number? Because of the 9th month of 2009. We'll just have to see about that :)
Have you heard 10thAveN? For your listening pleasure and mine <3
September 2 - Misty
September 9 - Tiffany
September 10 - Fernando
September 15 - Janice
September 15 - Torres
September 16 - Rovyn
September 20 - Priscilla & Victoria
September 20 - Rocky
September 20 - Anabellyn
September 25 - Shiela Lyn
September 25 - Brandon
September 26 - MelJoy
September 27 - Chris
Sweetsigh for September, a Very good month. A wonderful time following the sad struggle that was August, that come to think of it, August always is for me. So many blessings this number 9 seemed to bring. Maybe 9 is my new favorite number? Because of the 9th month of 2009. We'll just have to see about that :)
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